Bleeding Heart

I heard what your lips were saying 

But your eyes spoke louder

Screaming eyes 

Shouting at the top of their lungs

Forcing me to see

Beyond the words

The samples 

The stories

It was your eyes that told the truth 

The pain within was deeper than mere flesh

For these stabs 

Had dug so deep that your heart was bleeding

Spilling out of your eyes like rain drops

I'm listening 

I can hear you 

Never have you been this vulnerable 

Letting me in and undressing your love

Removing guards only for a moment 

I could see you

The person hiding behind the love for others

The care of tending to others needs 

I saw your bleeding heart exposed 

How ignorant I must have been 

To not see all of this before 

But how was I supposed to know

Never did you let me this close

And as soon as I took notice 

The walls were rebuilt

Thicker than street pavement 

Placed behind barbed wire

And a crooked smile...

If only you'd lend me your eyes again 

And we could work on your smile again 

Not the one on your face 

But the one in your heart 

Reassemble the broken pieces 

And restore you from the ruins...

If only...

If only...

I could see you again 

"I'm in love and always will be" (unfinished)

I won't say that this is a poem, but a message. I can't sleep and this has been swirling around in my head. It's like a conversation that has never been spoken or partaken of by me. Tell me, what is this?:


I believe in love
I believe in like
I believe in butterflies
I'm conflicted inside because these are the things I believe is real
I've chosen to change my life
But others...
Others have lives of their own
How do you save someone from themselves if they are happy, in love, healthy & successful?
How do you save someone who, by definition, doesn't need to be saved?
Exactly why are there so many guidelines to obtaining happiness?
People can't BE, because others are watching, judging and plotting against...
People can't just BE, because they feel condemned...
I don't know how to not be happy for others
I don't know how to be happy for those who have found what completes them and they aren't just content but happy
Who am I to steal their joy?
I believe in love
I believe in like
I believe in butterflies
I don't know anyone anymore who tears up at that pivotal scene in the movie
That scene in which the ending is clear, after the turmoil, happiness lives freely
I feel like I'm the last one
The last person that believes
That far beyond the rules and mandates
That love itself, is true
You'll know it when it arrives & never ceases to part
I believe in love
I believe in like
I believe in butterflies
I hope to see the day when our blinders are removed
We can all love one another, not for what we are trying to be
But for who and what we are...