Fright

It's frightening
How someone could make you feel
Empty with just a few words
A blank stare
A cold response
And there goes your energy
Seeping out from limbs
Onto the floor
Escaping you like blood
Just because your heart was invested
Hanging on to every word
In hopes of progress
When all you receive is
One step forward
And three steps backward
Continuously feeling knocked down
Unloved
Hoping that one day
They'll seek to understand you
Find you crying alone
And wipe your tears
Mend their wrong doings
Speak to you
Instead of over you
It's frightening at the idea
That what does not kill you
Can emotionally destroy you
If no one ever tries to fix you
We are under false pretenses
That love is unneeded
That we need to rely on no one
Because permanent isolation drives us insane
Causes us to self destruct
We need one another
But it's frightening
Love makes us do crazy things
But it would be crazy of us to think
Without love, that we can just "be"
We attempt at fooling ourselves
Try to substitute "like" for love
Try to turn sex into "making love"
And yet still
Our hands are empty
And we envy those
Who have found their niche
Found love that won't forsake
Love that stands by them & will die by their side
We envy and yet we want just that
And yet it's frightening
That I could
Fall to pieces when you hurt me
It scares me that I feel this way
Something I could once hide
It's bad that I'm attempting now
To cover the bruises, discard of the pain
And forth the illusion
That everyone else believes
Forgive me if I fall weak
But I'm only human
And I can admit to being frightened that I could love so deeply
That I hang on to every word
Made fragile by the idea
Even the words that are regretted,
I hang on...
They hit me that deep


This is not quite a poem and not quite not a poem, if that makes any sense. I just needed to release something that I'd once written one way and came back to the idea and wrote another way.

Inspired by life & 2 songs (Hanging On Too Long by Duffy & Tonight by Lykke Li)