Self, Where are you?

I wish that I could
Knock on the corridors of my own mind
Travel backwards & stand in front of my former self
Self, why are you here?
Jaded in every way imaginable
You knew you, before they did
Before you slipped and let them in
Before you gave away pieces of you
Traces that you can't get back
Moments that you should have never known
You lost you, when you questioned you
You got lost when you, for a second believed that you were unworthy
I want to stand in front of you
And say "you are worthy"
Remind you that what seems "too good to be true" is for you, own it before it disowns you
I wish you knew who you could become
Only if, you knew you before you let the wrong ones come, give them pleasure
Feed their egos
Let them use you for whatever you did best, in their eyes
And when they were done
Each time, you became less of you
Uncertain of your worth, character & talent
You, lost you... Don't lose you, you have you...
Instead I can't speak to you
That you, that is me
That demonstrated self mutilation of an emotional kind
It's me who failed me
I can't blame skeletons for their mistakes
I didn't have to let them in
I can't speak to the former me
But the present me, the you, that is me
I see you again... Unused & rare
I see you
I found me, buried in ruins if a broken soul, laughing to hide tears...
I missed you
I missed ME