Intimacy

What is this?
Reluctance to touch?
Why must there be fear
To be intimate
Without always being "intimate"
The desire to embrace with a hold
Or join hands
Comes now, with an expectation
What happened to
The mere appreciation of closeness
Can this not exist?
Can a touch, not insinuate a desire
But can that touch just mean
"I want you close, don't let go"
In silence
Many times, when I reach for you
I just want you close
Not what you can offer
But the closeness of you
The nearness of your presence
I love you here...
I love you...
Come close, I want you beside me
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The Artist

((An incomplete mental process))

I check your lyrics
And even listen to your songs
Making sure I'm last on your mind
When your pen meets pad
I know how your mind works
Just one opportune moment
And I'm all yours
Swallowed in your colorful metaphors
Dangling in your presence, like a reward for you to receive

I'm waiting for that one track
The one you regurgitate for me
Throw away the pride
And lett your tongue seduce my mind with your rhyme
Attempting to pull on my heart strings
Toy with fiction & truth
Until the lines are blurred

I'm waiting on you to play me
Like I've played you
Turned you upside down in poetry
Dusted over your name
Rewrote your story for you to remain unknown
Even between these lines your vanity won't find the truth

Being that you're an artist
It doesn't matter what I describe you to be
The manipulator of abstract things
To create something tangible or usable is still your gift

Even as I write
I picture you
Slidding your tongue across your teeth
Fixing your teeth to ask
"Is this one about me?"
But you won't
Because you know

I'm just waiting on you...
That one track
In which you
Open your mouth
And let your tongue fondle my name
Create space for music to seep in
That song will be on infinite replay...

Love Isn't Enough

Even as I said it
I sensed my body shift
My belief system altered
For a brief moment
An outer body experience
The words lingered
As if spoken in slow motion
That statement
So surreal & yet was my reality
I never thought I'd say it
"Love, love just isn't enough"

And after I said it
My heart dropped to my feet
I saw myself outside of myself
Asking myself "who are you, right now?"
My love for love was let down
That one statement stopped my mind for a moment

Has it become that complex?
Has the impact of love ceased to amaze me?
Love isn't enough to do the unthinkable?
Love isn't enough...for what?

I'd succumb to the pressures of change
The idea that love is & can be controlled
The idea that any moment it can be removed
Knowing that if I love, it's unconditional
My love exists, even long after my lover has abandoned me & it

So for that moment
I had a moment
My heart was broken, in between those words
A public cry out for help
Until I, within a blink of an eye
Ran for cover & closed the door

I lost my faith in love...for just one moment.

Better Forgotten, Than Held Onto

Better forgotten than held onto
That's how I feel
That's how they've coped
Discarding me like old shoes
Removing my name from playlists
Altering poems and a few edits "let's change this"
The I miss you's change to I wish you's
And they end on the note of
Me never being what they intended or expected
The expectancy of me was just a placeholder for the life altering love
That experience that changes their lives & leaves them blown forever

And I'm just downgraded to
The in between
That glimmer of hope to get one by
That need to be reminded of what it could feel like to be loved
But without true devotion

Better forgotten than held onto
Burned away like old poems you want to forget
Ripped into pieces like 4 page letters you can't read without fighting tears
That one thing, person, at least
That you don't want to remember
But hard to forget

Every now and again
You scroll upon that picture
Or that incessant song
That makes you think of me
And you want to erase the memories
Almost to pretend as if I didn't exist
Because I was just your "in between"
That temporary fix
That person that suits the idea of "this will do, until I find you..."