...Touch

You don't have to touch me
For me to feel you
You just need to be present
When I see you
Acknowledge my presence
Am I at all worthy of your attention?
Is the desire to share & connect a distant memory or a conversation we never had?
We never knew what to expect
Nothing was premeditated
But you're here, we're here
This is us
Where do we go from here?
That's the question
My love for you
Has not changed
Nor has my heart
Is it you? Is it you covering up how you feel to protect yourself from what might happen and from the what if?
Why can't it just be "why not?"
Why can't it be "it will be...", "this is what we desire..."
We're connected but your we's become I's so easily
And I wonder when you turned into this being so negative
You may see that in me
When I have my moments of defeat
I share, reflect & regroup from within

My Deepest Regret

My deepest regret
Is not loving you
the way you loved me
In a time, in which I had ALL of you
You were mine

Once you looked at me with hopes of forever
Promises of the "I would never..."
And I ran from its impact

It was so strong that I knew not how to respond
My heart ached when I was without you
I was on cloud nine when I saw you and no one could pull me down
I knew no world outside of loving you
I shared my dreams, passions & fears

Silent Cries (Home)

Lingered sadness traced our walls
We had to escape the silence when cries haunted
Blasted music to drown out our own echoed voices
We tried to make a home, our home without coexisting properly
We both died a little daily in our private cries and moments of silence
Reaching out for help from others and not one another
Without speaking a word
We broke the bonds of communication
Made selfish decisions
And found ourselves more disconnected from our love than ever before...
Our hearts kept beating for one another but lost connection when we decided to lean on others

Lingered sadness traced our walls
We had to escape the silence when cries haunted
Blasted music to drown out our own echoed voices
And I can still see our tears stained on the walls
We walked away from our home more broken than when we moved in...
Now that we own no home, we are finding our souls again
The connection from way back when is seeping in through the cracks
We are opening our mouths before running for cover
Standing up for our beliefs before folding...
We're walking together instead of one leading another...
We are finding that our home could never have been complete without us within it
We were there but only breathing...
We'd died once we got inside
Pale white walls and an orange sofa that represented neither of us...
We didn't create our home together
So home it could have never been...

We know now
What we didn't know before
Our home starts within us
Our will to forgive, change, support & practice selflessness
We know now that without using the voices within us that once made us so strong, we can easily fall apart


Lingered sadness traced our walls
We had to escape the silence when cries haunted
Blasted music to drown out our own echoed voices
Now that we are free from our own demise and stepping out into the changes we feared most
We know now, for us to have a home, it starts with US...

You Said (Not Quite A Poem, But a Broken Letter)

You said you lost your love
When are you going to go find her?
She wouldn't like you out here alone
Unprotected & seemingly broken hearted
I see your truth & I know it hurts that I can
I see that she is who you truly desire
When will you tell her?
Why are you so afraid of her...
She's standing right infront of you, inside of me...
Why must you fear me?
Give in...
It may be a risk
But what is it worth if there wasn't one?
You don't have to be safe...
Throw out your rules & all of the stories you've heard told
This is real
Welcome to our reality

Untitled

I lay awake
While you dream
Playing with thoughts
Fondling fantasies with the stroke of my fingers in my hair
Seeing you with your imaginary crown
And giving you all that my royal equal deserves...
Your heart never going unnoticed
And issues reaching resolutions before they even have a chance to be birthed
Toying with the idea of peace within us both
These trying times have made us cold

To some of those of the world...
Our hearts are broken
The gray area has no existence & we bounce between black & white to find our balance
In my imagination
We are whole again
At this very moment
We are home again, our souls restored & our faith renewed

Then You Lost Your Love...

Hair full
Body blessed
Milky skin
Melodious voice
You're my weakness
I dare not speak of this
Admit it to you
For what reason?
As long as I look lovingly back at you
My devotion should be seen in my glare
You can't see it in me?
Is that what you said?
You can't feel my love, is that what you cried?
Deep sigh
I go back into my mind as you speak
Retrace my words like steps
See where I went wrong
What I could have change
So many mistakes
Many I can name, that haven't been mentioned
I shame myself, am ashamed of myself
But why? Why do I run from you, my only truth?
The love I prayed for, longed for, that stayed dancing in my mind
Every time I thought of you in your absence
It was an obsession, wondering how your days went and if you were okay
Knowing inside that we'd cross paths fully, again
Not knowing what would accompany our visitation but I knew it would be long & that we'd reconnect like we were
The only difference I'd foreseen was the offering of longevity
I made the mistake of sharing my desires too soon
They weighed heavier than my actions & caused you to mentally & emotionally retreat
I lost my love...
Then I hear Badu in my background...
"then you lost your love... It's too late... I'm sorry, I love you..."
It resounds "it's too late"